ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
