if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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