Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
someone get that fucking seahorse.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
