i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
