VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
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Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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