Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
