i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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