So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
