dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
