i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
