you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
40s are totally the cure
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
