Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.