Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.