my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
about cumming, not toast
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.