my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
