So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.