I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.