I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
