I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
