I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize