I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
