Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
