how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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