I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
