Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
