is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize