OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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