please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
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We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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