tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
