Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
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Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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