I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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