Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
