dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you made out with another girl for some wings
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
