I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
