i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
