You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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