dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
