I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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