I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize