I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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