Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my shit smells like andre
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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