Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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