Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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