Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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