If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
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Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
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I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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