I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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