I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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