a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
