"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize