you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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