I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
