My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize