I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Blood and glitter go together right?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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