he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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