just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
