I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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