Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
