Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize