Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
