do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
