I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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