i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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