All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
