I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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