I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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