My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
